Why Women Stay
The reasons why women stay in violent relationships are highly complex and occur on many levels. The below points attempt to breakdown and categorize some of the motives operating to cause a woman to stay. All of these factors are not found in each case but a combination of some of them is usually enough to keep the woman together with her partner.
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She loves her partner, not the violence. Very ambivalent feelings.
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She made a commitment she feels she can’t break.
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She has no where to go. She has no money, or fears the poverty that may result for her and her children if she leaves.
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Relatives and in-laws want her to stay. Lack of continuous community and family support.
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She may not be able to physically leave the situation because she has a disability. Her partner may provide attendant care.
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She believes her partner can’t get along without her - he may have threatened suicide if she leaves.
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He takes her confidence away so she doesn’t think she can make it on her own. Victim overwhelmed by the immediate and long term physical and psychological trauma.
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She wants her children to grow up with their father.(Concerns for the children).
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She believes her partner will change.(Cycle of Abuse)
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She is afraid or ashamed.
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He makes her feel guilty and tells her the abuse is her fault.
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She believes she deserves the abuse.
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She may not be able to access the services she needs.
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She’s afraid for her own life and for her children’s lives. Lack of safe options for domestic violence victims and their children.